I apologize for the poor quality of the "before" picture.
It was taken with a first generation digital camera and copied many times over.
I stayed out of the camera's way as a rule
because I was so self-conscious of my appearance.
So this is only one of two pictures existing to verify my weight loss.
I finally took control of my life when I dropped 8 dress sizes in 6 months at age 39. It sounds like I did it over night but it wasn’t exactly like that. In fact, in the first 4 weeks I didn’t see ANY positive results to reinforce my die-hard dedication to self-improvement. My scale had an ugly sense of humor reporting a six-pound increase after four weeks of invested blood, sweat and tears! “FINE!” I kept telling myself, “I’ll do this even if it kills me!” Like being healthy can kill you, right? Actually, I thought it might on those first couple of sprint days. I calmly put the scale out of site although I felt like drop-kicking it into the cow-pie pasture next door and focused on living a more healthy life each and every day.
I ate clean! I mean, SOOOO clean that I even found myself snubbing the sample ladies in Sam's Club. Oh yeah! I was FO-cused and in the zone!! (Please add three zig-zagging finger snaps for emphasis.) I exercised 6 days a week. Three days were cardio days. So when my alarm went off at 5:30am my feet hit the floor even if my eyes weren’t open yet. I was pumped and ready to roll! Once I put my sports bra on backwards before opening my eyes. Half way through my sprinting sequence I made a mental note that I needed to buy another bra just like this one for its unprecedented cup support. I gave up dressing in the dark after that.
At the beginning I really hated exercising--something about the THUNDERING sound of my feet on the pavement and the undulating saddlebag-bounce that compounded the "I'm about to die" heavy breathing. It all felt a little un-natural. Go figure!
Thank heavens, this time around, I took a more sane and do-able approach to better health as opposed to my manic/panic workouts of the past AND I added headphones so the LOUD music could drown out the THUNDER and intense panting. Running tip for the bulky beginner: Four layers of spandex can significantly reduce big-bottom bounce!
My cardio days were short--20 minutes sprints. I believed I could do anything for 20 minutes as long as it didn't require running copious miles on a dreary dreadmill. It wasn't like I magically had wings on my shoes in the beginning. To be perfectly honest my “20 minute sprints” were more like 20 minute sputters. I galloped, hobbled and limped like my shoelaces were tied together all the way around the block and back home, tripping up the front steps and landing in a heap on the welcome mat. Note: Once, my 3 year old opened the glass front door after watching me collapse and asked if he could come out and take a nap with me on the porch. Yep. I was a mess.
At the time we were living in a rural cow town outside of Logan, Utah. The community was six streets long and six streets wide, miles of farm land in every direction, a few stop signs, no gas station, one penny-candy store and a library/fire station combo. Easier said, we were in the boonies. The one thing that annoyed me a little was that every time I ran past this one cow pen, I guess they heard me coming, they would all line up at the fence and watch me run by. By the looks of their amused and steady gaze following me right to left down the street I had a suspicion they were all thinking the same thought: "what the cr*&#%p was that?" So we had a talk one day when I lurched to a halt in front of their pen: I promised to keep the noise down to a dull roar as I thundered more quietly by and they promised to wipe the smirks off their faces and not laugh until I was out of range. It was a good working relationship.
My point in all of this is that although it was SUPER challenging at first, I was moving with cohesive exercise guidance for the first time in my life. Eventually, my gallops turned into sprints, hobbles turned into jogs and limps turned into walks, I ceased being early morning entertainment for the cows and I’d end each 20 minute sprint sitting upright on the front steps watching the sun rise just before breakfast, grateful to be alive.
When my run was over, I'd go back into the house where my five children (four girls and a boy ages 13 to 3) awaited their sentence diagramming lesson of the day. Yep I was homeschooling all of them AND trying to create a better me. Sheesh! What was I thinking!
Back to the workout. Three days of the week were dedicated to weight training. Once I read: 'muscle burns fat' the heavens opened and I experienced a Holy Guacamole moment! I got it! I lifted weights methodically, increasing them incrementally, and recorded reps and sets on a chart. I found this part of the workout satisfying and rewarding as I could see my progress on paper….and in the mirror. I admit it-- I had an ego that needed daily stroking to repair the public humiliation it endured each time I went flailing through the neighborhood for ALL TO SEE during my 20 minute “sprints”.
The 7th day of the week was a rest day and I could eat something I normally didn’t get during the week, like my personal fav- GLORIOUS CHEESE. Buuut after a while I didn’t feel like I was missing it all that much and I let it go. I was super zeroed-in on becoming the person I always expected to see staring back at me in the mirror. Cheat foods simply fell off my radar. AND I kicked the habit of being the family garbage disposal. Hey, I didn't want any food to go to waste on my kids plates, okay?
The second 12 weeks I continued eating and exercising with renewed dedication for a better, healthier me. I was in the zone AND THEN I went super-sonic! I started dropping dress sizes big time! I planned ahead, packed my food if I was going out, readied my snacks, scheduled dinners a week in advance and downed my protein shakes three times a day.
In the end, the big payoff for me was getting to fit into the clothes I WANTED to wear. In fact, unexpectedly I had to buy new clothes every week. I'd pull sizes off the rack and be astonished that they were too big. As soon as the next weekend rolled around, I was another size smaller. Eventually, I settled in at the size I have maintained now for six years.
Let me clarify right here that although I measured my success in sizes for the purpose of conveying my progress to you, the most noteworthy results were these: 1) I felt like a million bucks 2) I could run and play with my children, 3) I made a promise to become healthier and I kept that promise increasing essential trust in myself let's face it, if you can't keep a promise to yourself, your word doesn't hold water. 4) my self-confidence went up decreasing my need to be invisible and 5) I began dreaming of the possibility that I might be able to accomplish other great things in my lifetime preferrably done without the scrutiny of a sniggering herd of bovines!
Question: What did I learn from a deliberate effort to become a healthier person?
Answer: Anything is possible when you zero in on what you really want out of life.
Question: Was there some sacrifice to what I did?
Answer: Some.
Question: Was it the kind of sacrifice that denied me pleasure?
Answer: Absolutely not! It was the kind of sacrifice that got me away from running circles in old patterns like bowing to the Scale-God only to discover that my on-and-off eating binges and sporadic workout frenzies were making me gain weight. Which inevitably lead me back to the kitchen to eat all things naughty—chips and cookies—feeling like a failure.
I remember thinking, “I'll just STARVE myself to death and not eat for a whole week and that’ll show my stupid saddlebags how much I hate them!” I was desperate AND delusional! It's just that I was SO MAD for letting myself get to that point in the first place!
I played every excuse-card in the book for why I was suddenly large--note: the "suddenly" part took 14 years
1) I had five kids--
2) I didn't have time--
3) I was homeschooling--
4) My husband wasn't around to watch the kids when I felt like exercising p.s. I NEVER felt like exercising--
5) It wasn't my diet, I ate healthy food...plus everything on my kids plates plus, plus, plus all day long--
6) I exercised and nothing happened note: I DID exercise...two days in a row every three months
The foods I eventually eliminated from my diet were just heavy anchors that kept me tied down in the harbor of life so to speak. Once I realized that I had total control over what I ate, when I ate, how much of it I ate, things began to change. Adding exercise was the winch that brought up the anchors one at a time. Cranking out proper cardio workouts consistently and with intensity, bouyed up my ship and it sailed!
It's not that I didn't have control over those things before...it's that I didn't TAKE CONTROL and then TAKE ACTION to begin a process that would eventually reveal my true self. My only limits all along were the ones I placed on myself a.k.a. excuses. I can only express to you how good it feels, six year later, to still live a healthy lifestyle that allows me to spend time with my family in a productive and interactive way, do what I want to do and be who I feel I was meant to be. I had never taken the time to laser-focus on a goal before. But then again, I had never wanted anything so bad before. Now, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep sailing. Anchors aweigh, baby, anchors aweigh!
Please email your story to us. www.fitnesslevel10@gmail.com. We'll post your pictures and stories so you can inspire others to achieve greater health and rise to greater heights. We lead by example.
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